This afternoon I have been reading the book Present over Perfect. As I read chapters titled Legacy, It’s All Right Here, and The Man in the Tuxedo you kept coming to mind Dad. In the Legacy chapter the author, Shauna Niequist, wrote about how there are invitations to remake your life at every corner if you are looking for them. This made me think about you and Mom and your stay at the VA Hospital in Ann Arbor. The Halloween that Mom and I were not sure exactly where you were at. But then when you came home they said it was time to start your treatment at the VA Hospital. You and Mom packed up some clothes and bathroom supplies and left for Ann Arbor. Mom never leaving your side except for the laundry mat once, which she said never again would she do laundry on the U of M campus. Then one time when some of the grandkids were at a hotel in Ann Arbor, she went to see them for a couple hours. I am not denying that there were some difficult moments during your stay. I know that you were not always so excited about the length of time you were in the hospital. However, my point is that during your six week stay you and Mom saw the invitation to slow down and enjoy each others company. You were in a small room with no demands on where to be. You two talked, watched shows, and spent time in the Word. You two talked some more and had deeper, meaningful conversations. I remember a conversation I had with you, Dad, and you said despite it all you were glad you and Mom had that 6 weeks together.
In the chapter called It’s All Right Here, Shauna said true love is slow, awkward, and painful. When you have true love your spouse will see the worst but still keep staying, staying, staying, and showing up. So many young couples need to know this. Marriage is work. Marriage is awkward at time and even painful at times. Marriage is not just a walk in the park. Thank you Dad (and Mom) for continually staying, staying, and showing up for each other and our family.
The last chapter, The Man in the Tuxedo, included a story about a man who was dying of cancer. When he was near the end of his life he asked a friend to come over and record a video. When the friend arrived the man was in a tuxedo. The video he wanted to capture was his toasts for his kids’ weddings. He knew he would not be there. He used every remaining second, leaving nothing unsaid and lived it with great intention. This story almost made me get teary eyed. I know I said it before but I am grateful for the time we spent together while you were in Ann Arbor and when you first got to Schnepp’s. Thank you for the talks and laughs. Also thank for teaching me dance moves to Johnny Cash and watching you be motivated by Johnny to do your physical therapy. Thank you both for teaching me we don’t always know what life will throw at us, but it is our decision on how we react. So we just need to make a smart decision and then lift our eyes up and know where our help comes from. Thanks for the lessons Dad.