Good morning Dad –
Yesterday, JJ and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. As people began to ask how many years I thought, wow, 17. It seems like just yesterday you and Mom watched the kids so we could celebrate our 10th anniversary in Mexico. The time continues to go faster and faster. I know, I know you told me that it would.
This past week I started to think about advice that I would give young engaged couples. The first tip would be to become friends first. I know there was a moment you thought maybe I was moving too quickly and you were a little concerned with this loud young man I was bringing around. However, I thought about the nightly phone conversations on a landline, phone bills that were outrageous, and JJ having to pay CPS for part of his work phone bill. All those phone conversations (even though we were only an hour away from each other) allowed us to become best friends. We learned to actually listen to each other. We learned how to give and receive advice from each other. I was pretty good at the giving advice (maybe that was a learned behavior), but not as good at receiving the advice. Our thoughts were not how to fix or change the other one to benefit ourselves, but to allow for personal growth.
The second tip to young couples would be as you say those wedding vows (traditional or not) to know marriage is work. We put time and effort into a career, why would we not want to put time and effort into a marriage? If he/she is worthy enough of putting a ring on it, then he/she should be worthy of your time and effort. When you are working at the marriage though, learn to find time to laugh. Good belly laughs! Laughter is still the best medicine.
The last and most important tip is to go to God first. When you want to react to something stupid the other did or didn’t do take it to God first. Pause, pray, and evaluate (PPE). Many people have jobs where they have to wear their PPE -personal protective equipment- and these last few years resulted in all of us needing PPE. So why wouldn’t we have PPE for one of the most important relationships? So remember, pause, pray, and evaluate to protect your marriage.
Dad, you and mom taught us marriage was worth working for. Thank you! Also, thank you for giving JJ your blessing.