Good evening Dad –
Today, I was thinking about your good friend, Fred. I had a talk with him a couple Sundays ago when I was at church with Mom. I know you know, but Fred’s wife passed away and I think he is struggling a little after losing you and her. I am glad that he has friends to watch over him and people at the church. However, he mentioned something to me that I probably should of had a different response to than I did. He told me that he has not been ice fishing since he last went with you. He talked about how he couldn’t make himself go. I started talking about all the memories you guys made. Fred and I laughed and joked. We talked about the stories you would be sharing in Heaven. Today, though I thought about how I should have talked about Fred doing things in honor of you or even in honor of his wife. Fortunately, I really haven’t had anything I didn’t want to do because it was going to remind me too much of you or maybe even hurt too much. I think it is important for those who have lost loved ones to push themselves to do those things. I remember when I walked out to your deer shack for the first time after you were gone. I decided to play music on my phone, just sit in the solitude, think about you, talk to you, and pray. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do but my mind was flooded with memories of you which made me happy. I also remember the first time I went down into the basement and went into your room after you were gone. Since everything is still the same, other than some plants on the workbench, it did feel weird. It felt like you should come walking in to see what I was doing or what I was looking for. I then remember walking over to the table and sitting down. I again sat in quiet but this time started to talk to you, Dad. There was part of me that just wanted to grab what I needed, flip the light back off, and go upstairs. However, I sat there for a few minutes while everybody else was upstairs. I talked to you Dad and replayed memories. I think we all need to push ourselves to get through the uncomfortable to recall the good memories. If we don’t take time to have those moments to replay memories soon it becomes harder to recall them. So Dad do what you need to do up there to convince Fred to go out ice fishing with someone and I will talk to him again. Send him a sign that it’s okay and that he needs to, to keep the memories alive. I am sure you would enjoy looking down on his ice fishing adventure. Besides that, someone has to keep telling your fishing and cabin stories. I love you Dad!